Wednesday, September 9, 2009

anecdote 1

This person he is very cool,I met him in freshmen year in math class while talking to another friend. Then we were talking and then next thing u know we were pretty close friends. We hanged out alot we went to each others house and stared playing hella videogames :D. Then its was his birthday and it was a balst...Dont know if we were supposed to right this?

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4 comments:

  1. KervinSeptember 11, 2009 at 9:43 AM

    What is the dude's name?

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  2. jazzyface_408September 15, 2009 at 8:59 AM

    His nombre is Christopher!

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  3. jazzyface_408September 15, 2009 at 9:07 AM

    you don't write HELLA in a sentence. It's not formal breh! Haha. Anyways, the first paragraph starts with your controlling impression; like the person you're talking about.

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  4. ThompsonSeptember 17, 2009 at 6:15 PM

    I agree with Myra- you want to make sure to have more of a formal tone in this narrative, which means leaving out the "hella"s and cleaning up your grammar. All of your anecdotes could use some more concrete sensory details, too: what happened at his birthday that made it such a blast?

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